tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666795488092761478.post5510917411630601263..comments2010-03-11T06:44:12.246-08:00Comments on Today is not the end, it is just the Beginning~: Dark BlueStephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18096921828863233449noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666795488092761478.post-25450548616411947442010-03-11T06:44:12.246-08:002010-03-11T06:44:12.246-08:00The thesis of this essay isn’t clear but I think S...The thesis of this essay isn’t clear but I think Steph is trying to get at that is everyone has the will power to overcome an obstacle, you just have to set your mind to it. The thesis is not completely clear. The strong point of the essay is the use of quotes, “God help me to have the cramp go. Because I do not know what the fish is going to do’” (60).” She also uses quotes from the bible, “Two are better than one.” The use of quotes was amazing. The weak point of the story is the thesis, the message of the essay. The thesis just isn’t clear and needs to work on. It needs to show throughout the essay as sort of the back bone of the essay.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15750928249167645954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666795488092761478.post-72002621662829803992010-03-10T19:30:17.013-08:002010-03-10T19:30:17.013-08:001) Steph's thesis is about the struggles and ...1) Steph's thesis is about the struggles and obstacles humans, or Santiago faces. I think that it's well written and explained in the first paragraph really well.<br /><br />2) I think that all of her quotes are equally good. If I had to pick one, I would say the one in the second paragraph. That's because it tells exactly and explains really well what event she is talking about.<br /><br />3) I think that the strongest part of Steph's essay was how well she kept to the "analysis" part of the essay. So many people just described what happened with little analysis. Steph's was different in that way.<br /><br />4) I really can't think of much that she could change. Good Job!Daniellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14229862229566343076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666795488092761478.post-46959439089605577932010-03-10T14:00:46.830-08:002010-03-10T14:00:46.830-08:00I. The thesis is that struggling is a part of ever...I. The thesis is that struggling is a part of every day life. The thesis is clear to the reader. She explains the thesis well to the reader. The thesis engages the reader very well.<br />II. I thought that the frist quote was the strongest. It was also a good refference to the thesis. Shows the struggle that the old man is having with the fish. That his body is taking a beating.<br />III. The organization of the essay is done well. It flows well from the introduction to the conclusion. The description of the quotes are reflected very well to the thesis.<br />IV. I thought the essay was well written. You might need to check some things, but i thought it was a good essay that had a strong thesis.jasonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04169266207559234627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666795488092761478.post-18486551473057879732010-03-10T09:36:04.255-08:002010-03-10T09:36:04.255-08:001. The thesis statement of this essay was "St...1. The thesis statement of this essay was "Struggling is part everyday life." Is is clear and concise but it does not engage me as it is very vague and could be more exciting.<br /><br />2. The quote that was best integrated into your essay was ’God help me to have the cramp go. Because I do not know what the fish is going to do’ because it was the sentence that showed the struggles that the old man has to face. <br /><br />3. The quotes that were integrated into this essay were really thought out and weren't just random quotes and I really liked that. As I said in #2, you really showed the struggles put upon to Santiago.<br /><br />4. The essay was a great essay and I really enjoyed reading it. I would just suggest to expand your thesis or first sentence into a more exciting one so that you can draw the reader in.Brandynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08761438779979704886noreply@blogger.com